Who Let This Ugly Bitch In The Party?

Sometimes the prospect of buying a cool yet practical, awesome yet functional, sweet yet pragmatic gift can be rather daunting, especially to the unexperienced.  With the advent of the information age, more and more people instinctively ask Google before they think to consult someone with the kind of veteran savvy required to make a decision of yankee swap magnitude.  That said, here's a good example of what not to do.  If anything you're considering buying for a yankee swap gift is on this retard's list, chances are good you need a lobotomy.