Sunday, December 6, 2009

Brad Kasnet and Sweaters: A Love Story

There are very few truisms in life. Benjamin Franklin’s saying “In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes” is one that is commonly thrown out. Sports writers often attribute truisms regarding particular teams or fan bases. Some people have truisms that apply to the holidays, such as some relative is going to get hammered at thanksgiving, or a certain aunt will always give socks as a present. Well, Swappers, there is one that I would like to throw into the fold. If there’s a Yankee Swap, Brad Kasnet will be wearing a sweater. While not a truism, a corollary with about 80% accuracy is that if brad is wearing a sweater, it will be awful. So for this posting, I shall be the ghost of Yankee Swaps’ Past and will show you the love affair that exists between Brad and Sweaters.


Here we have brad wearing one of his signature sweaters at last year's Swap. Notice the amazing patterning on it and the way it compliments his reindeer antlers. An amazing piece that I'm sure could be sold at a fine boutique for about $7.



The next example we have is from Yankee Swap '07. This is the only reason that I can't say that all of Brad's sweaters are awful. There's a small chance that Brad spilled something on his original sweater and raided Dave's closet. I highly doubt that and believe that this sweater is a genuine random occurrence in Brad's wardrobe. As people often say "even a broken clock is right twice a day" and here I think it was just dumb luck that this sweater came into Brad's possession.

This next example is actually from '05, and the lack of megaphone in Brad's hand suggests that it's not actually from the Swap that year. But when you factor in the tree in the background, the presents under that tree, the apps on the table and the video yule log in the background, it has to be from a holiday party of sorts, so let's go for it. Yes, that is the same sweater from the '08 Swap, but the main reason this picture is being introduced is because I'm under the impression that all of the residents of Strathmore actually borrowed those sweaters from Brad. So this is actually a great opportunity to see the Sweater collection in all its glory.



Lastly, I'm going to display a non-traditional sweater. If you have ever talked to a hockey player or a Canadian, you'll notice that they don't refer to jerseys as jerseys, but actually as sweaters. So based on the vagueness of the definition provided to us by our bastard relatives to the north, here's another picture of Brad in a sweater.



So what's the point of all of this? 1) Don't worry about what you wear to the Swap because we're all fairly certain that Brad's outfit will be horrendous. So worst case scenario you stand next to Brad all night. On second thought, that's the biggest motivator I've ever heard for trying to dress sharp. 2) I think it's time for a fashion intervention for Brad. Any chance the guys from Queer Eye would bring their show back on the air based on how grave the situation is?

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