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What's your excuse?

Okay, so Yankee Swap invites came out this year a little bit late. Normally we try to have them out by Labor Day so that everyone can do some effective scheduling and be sure to keep Yankee Swap weekend open, not just for the swap itself but the crippling hangover that accompanies the mix of holiday punch, wine, cheap beer and ice luging god knows what. But for some reason, the rate of people RSVP’ing in the affirmative has been a little slow.

As of right now on the RSVP list, the farthest people are traveling from is the Mountain time zone, but I’m sure some west coasters will have RSVP’d by the time the tree goes up on December 1. So don’t say it’s too hard for you to drive from Connecticut or New Hampshire. Grabbing a cab from Charlestown? That will cost less than the amazing present you’ll receive at the party. Pretty much, if you’re on the east coast, the only acceptable reasons for missing the swap are being on the donor list for a vital organ (kidneys don’t count) or an unforeseen death in the family. Lock in your transportation now while fares are cheapest.

Some people will argue that they have another holiday party to attend? Really, you’d rank something above the swap? What are the options, a work party? A family party? Going to holiday parties is all about getting drunk and making bad decisions, are the best place for that to happen is Perry St. Not only are there massive quantities of booze with incredibly efficient methods of imbibing (ice luge races?), but it’s the only place where making decisions that co-workers would deem “destructive” is not only acceptable but encouraged. Sloppily making out in the corner with some hottie you just met at the work party = being the subject of office gossip and watercooler talk until at least April. Sloppily making out at the Yankee Swap with a random hottie = welcome to Perry St.

Do yourself a favor. When invites for all those other holiday parties come out, just remember who reached out to you first and asked you to share a magical evening with us? I mean honestly, what sort of excuse could you have for not coming?

On the eighth (1/8) day, God said, "Let there be Yankee Swap"

As we start to measure the time till the Yankee Swap in hours instead of days, allow us to present to you the Unabridged Official 2009 Yankee Swap rules.  This year we'll be using a slightly different set of rules from swaps of yore, but rest assured we're going to make sure that this swap is better than ever.  Without further ado;

1) Numbers will be drawn at random.  Every person that puts a wrapped gift under the tree gets a single number (#).

2) The person with number 1 (one) selects a wrapped gift first and unwraps said gift.  

3) The person with the next number has two (2) options.  They may either 

a. Select a wrapped gift and unwrap said gift or:

b. Elect to "steal" an unwrapped gift from anyone who has already unwrapped a gift.

In the event your unwrapped gift is "stolen" through the implication of rule 3b (threebee), you must select a new, unwrapped gift from under the tree to unwrap.  

4) The person with the next number now has the two (2) options outlined in rule 3 (three).

5) After the last person in the swap has selected made their choice (outlined in rule three [3]) the person with number one (1) has the option to force a trade of their gift with any other participant's gift.

6) All decisions of the residents of 56 Perry St. (Xanadu) are final, binding and generally not to be fucked with.

Crap for Sale! Cheap!

Boston.com ran a feature today with 20 gift ideas for under $30. Now some of the gifts, like this "discreet, less nerdy fanny-pack" come in above our $20 limit, but the majority cost less than one Andrew Jackson (I just had to look in my wallet to see who was on the $20 bill).

You could be the hit of the party with this Guitar Hero Carabiner (pictured at left) or a fruit-powered clock! You could show your friends how progressive and pretentious you are with this self watering pot or iPhone cover from Urban Outfitters! You could get into the holiday spirit with this gingerbread house kit! You could get the "hilarious" LOLcats in book form! You could be super cheap and buy this cute note pad!

Maybe we could get one of these to bury Turbo in!

All of these gifts and more are at Boston.com. Happy shopping!

In The Red Zone

Don't be caught off guard by how early Yankee Swap falls this year (caused by the Coriolis Effect). There's only 13 days until the swap, probably less by the time you read this, so it's time to get your gift-giving juices flowing.

Let's all take a stroll down memory lane as we revisit some of the best gifts from Yankee Swaps past. Feel free to steal ideas or regift whatever you got last year.

At Yankee Swap 2006, one lucky swapper ended up with four Miller High Life 40s and a matching clock. That's quite a haul for under $20! Sure beats a hatchet. The moral of the story is that someone got drunk and the clock is still in our kitchen, although it's very difficult to read, so it was a happy ending.

R.I.P. Turbo

It looks like we'll be one housemate short for the Yankee Swap this year.  We've decided to officially declare Turbo the cat dead.  It's been a long time since we've seen him and, based on his condition the last time anyone saw him, we figure it's a pretty good bet he's riding the Hale-Bopp Comet out to the distant reaches of reality.  So raise your glass, whatever ya got, to health and happiness, to the Yankee Swap, and to Turbo.  Goodnight sweet prince.

(full disclosure: that's not Turbo, but who gives a shit?)

Yankee Swap Restaurant Review: Selle de la Terre

For Restaurant Week Boston 2008 this year I went to Selle de la Terre on State Street. I'm reviewing it because I'm extremely bored at work and can't think of anything else to do. Pathetic? Maybe...

Appe-teaser: Before I get to what I had for a first course, allow me to begin bitching. The restaurant week menu isn't on the internet. The only mention of it on the Selle de la Terre website says that menus change daily and suggests the perspective patron "call for [their] latest creations." Now, I have a blog. I know what it takes to post a couple of lines of text onto the interwebs. It's really not hard (that's what she said). Get your shit together. Anyways, I had some sort of cream of asparagus soup. It was actually quite tasty, though a little salty. There were two small stalks of asparagus laid dantily across the top of the soup that seemed to have been frozen, which provided an interesting contrast with the warm soup. Still, I couldn't help but feel the soup wasn't particularly complicated, a feeling that would become a theme of the evening's meal. Overall though, I would rate the soup as the best part of the meal.

Main Course: For my entree, I enjoyed the steak. Again, you won't be able to find this one on the menu online. It definitely wasn't the ribeye that they've got on the regular dinner menu. It came with 2 peices of charred asparagus and a mini-mushroom sucotash. My steak was perfectly medium rare and I really enjoyed the crunch left in the asparagus. The mushrooms were very well seasoned and though the idea of mushrooms and steak fit comfortably into my paradigm of a manly dinner, it wasn't especially imaginative. I was also a little annoyed at the prospect of more asparagus after my soup. Though quite delicious, this course was basically a steak, and though a good one, nothing too imaginitive.

Dessert: Yup, good, but pretty boring again. I had the chocolate silk cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, 4 blueberries, 2 blackberries and 1 streak of a fruit sauce. It was really tasty, had an incredibly smooth texture and was a great finish to a very solid meal, but I'd be lying if I said I was impressed with the culinary technique involved in preparation.

Beverage: In lieu of wine, I decided to try a cocktail from the menu. This is the only part of my meal that was on the normal menu, though try as I may, I can't seem to find the cocktail menu online either. Selle de la Terre is really starting to annoy. Anyways, I had the Greyhound. I believe it was pink grapefruit juice, some sort of top shelf vodka and  Lavender flavored syrup.  It was particularly tasty, but for 11 dollars I could buy a handle of Poland Springs Vodka and an entire grapefruit orchard.

Swap Verdict: 20 bucks won't buy you shit off this menu, so this review is pretty pointless.  But then again, so is most of the information on this blog.

Swap Countdown: 74 days.